Being There
by suburbs
Summary: Mitchie knew it was her turn to be the strong one. Because she wasn’t the one with the tumor.


Disclaimer: I don't own Camp Rock.

AN: A special thank you to DramaticStarlet for encouraging me to try something new (and beta-ing the attempt), Oo lovetoday oO (who is psychic AND writes brilliant stories that make me wish I had more range as a writer), and LittleRedOne (a great writer AND the most consistent and kind reviewer in the Camp Rock verse). This is a one-shot with no connection to anything else I have written.

"Oh, God, not again," Mitchie thought as she felt her heart-rate speed up. Gasping for breath, she clenched her hands into fists, feeling her nails dig into her delicate palms. Hopefully this time she wouldn't draw blood. She clenched her teeth to keep herself from screaming and tilted her head forward, letting her hair fall across her face like a curtain. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on steadying herself, getting everything back under control. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.

After a moment, Mitchie felt her body start to relax as the panic attack passed. This was the third one in as many days, and she hated them – hated how weak they made her feel. Especially now, when it was her turn to be the strong one. Because she wasn't the one with the tumor.

Mitchie had spent so many years leaning on Caitlyn, gathering strength from her, and now it was her turn to be there for her friend. Her friend with a tumor the size of a baseball in her lung. Her friend who might or might not have cancer. As soon as Caitlyn had called with the news, Mitchie had dropped everything and moved into Caitlyn's apartment to help. Caitlyn's parents were dead and she didn't have anyone else. Fortunately Shane had offered to cover all Mitchie's expenses, so she could concentrate on helping take care of Caitlyn.

Well, taking care of Caitlyn and managing her own terror.

She could do it as long as she didn't stand still. Mitchie had to be doing something – cleaning Caitlyn's apartment, driving her to the doctor, e-mailing people with updates, packing for the hospital. Once she was quiet and still, her mind would begin to drift. What if it was cancer? What if it had spread? What if something went wrong on the table? What if she lost Caitlyn? It was at this point that fear would overwhelm her because Mitchie wasn't sure she could survive without Caitlyn.

Sure, she had her parents and Shane, but it wasn't the same. Caitlyn had been there for her since Camp Rock, always loyal and supportive, even when Mitchie didn't deserve it. She still wasn't sure why Caitlyn had stuck by her that summer, but she had. Mitchie could tell Caitlyn anything without worrying about being judged. She just listened. There was no one else in Mitchie's world like that. Shane tried, but he took her doubts and insecurities personally. As much as he loved her, somehow he twisted things around so they were about him. And her mother couldn't accept that she was all grown up. She still treated Mitchie like a child. Caitlyn was her rock.

Mitchie was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of footsteps coming down the hallway. "Hey, Mitch," Caitlyn said. "Do you think we can just get pizza delivered? I'm tired and don't want to go anywhere."

Mitchie put on a smile, "Of course. I'll go call. Why don't you put in a movie, and I'll be there in a second."

Caitlyn nodded and headed into the family room, leaving Mitchie alone at the kitchen table. As soon as Caitlyn was out of sight, Mitchie stopped smiling. She sighed and reached for the phone. If she was lucky her friend would have the movie in and playing by the time she got there.

For the first time in their relationship, Mitchie didn't know what to say to Caitlyn. She was so afraid that she would say the wrong thing. She didn't want to dump all her fears onto Caitlyn, who was already dealing with her own mortality, so she bottled it all up inside. She wanted to let Caitlyn know she was there for her if she wanted to talk, but she didn't want to pressure Caitlyn if she wasn't ready. Would asking about a will and a funeral make it seem like Mitchie thought Caitlyn wouldn't make it? But if she didn't ask, did it seem like she was ignoring the gravity of the situation? Mitchie was never sure of the right answer, so she often ended up silent, disgusted by her own shortcomings.

After ordering the pizza, Mitchie glanced at her cell phone. She should probably call her mom. She had been putting it off for a few days now, and Mitchie knew from experience that delaying the task only made it worse in the end. She punched the familiar numbers and waited while it rang, hoping to leave a message.

'Mitchie?" her mother asked. Apparently it wasn't her lucky day.

"Hi, Mom. Just wanted to check in."

"You sound tired. Are you okay?" her mom asked.

"I'm fine, Mom. Just getting used to sleeping on the couch." Mitchie was afraid to tell her overprotective mom the truth about how she was feeling.

"Honey, maybe this is too much for you. You should just come home. Shane would be happy to pay for a nurse to come stay with Caitlyn…"

"Stop it Mom," Mitchie snapped. "How many times do I have to tell you and Shane that I want to be here? No, need to be here. I'm not leaving my best friend with some stranger because it might be a little inconvenient."

"I didn't mean…" her mother stuttered.

Mitchie sighed. "Mom, I'm fine, and I'm staying. I'll call you later this week."

After hanging up the phone, Mitchie rubbed her hand across her face and took a deep breath before joining Caitlyn in the family room.

"So what are we watching?" she asked cheerfully as she plopped down on the couch next to her friend. She groaned as she watched Sarah Jessica Parker prance across a stage. "Girls Just Want to Have Fun? We weren't even alive when this came out!"

Caitlyn laughed, "I like it – it reminds me of us. The crazy daredevil and her repressed, but talented best friend."

"I don't think you're repressed, Caitlyn," Mitchie said mischievously.

"Very funny, Torres," Caitlyn retorted before focusing back on the movie. At moments like this, Mitchie could almost pretend that everything was normal. The feeling lasted through pizza and the rest of the movie, until it was time for Caitlyn to say goodnight.

"So what time do we need to leave for the ultrasound tomorrow?" Caitlyn asked as she yawned.

Mitchie pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked the calendar. "We need to be there at ten, so we should probably leave by 9:15."

"Make it nine. The coffee at the hospital sucks, so I want to stop on the way."

Mitchie nodded. "Nine it is. Night Caity."

"Night Mitch," Caitlyn said before turning and heading down the hallway to her bedroom.

Mitchie heard the water running in the bathroom as Caitlyn brushed her teeth. She heard her friend shuffle into her room and listened for the click of the door closing. Mitchie leaned over the couch to pull the pillow and blanket from where they were stored during the day and placed the pillow at one end of the couch. She then put the television on mute and watched a Law and Order rerun to keep occupied, but her mind kept drifting back to the ultrasound. About half-way through the episode, Mitchie felt her hands begin to shake and her eyes well up with tears. Unable to keep the sobs at bay any longer, she turned and stuffed her face into the pillow to muffle the sound of her crying.

"Mitchie, what's wrong?"

Mitchie sat up quickly, startled by Caitlyn's voice. "God, Caitlyn, I'm so sorry! Did I wake you up?"

"No, I was just coming to get some water. What's wrong?" Caitlyn moved Mitchie's blanket and sat next to her on the couch. Mitchie desperately wanted to blurt everything out like she always did when something was bothering her, but she was supposed to be making things easier for Caitlyn, not harder.

"Nothing," Mitchie lied. "I'm fine."

Caitlyn looked at her incredulously. "Mitchie something's wrong. You're sobbing on my couch. Just tell me."

"I don't want to tell you. You're already dealing with so much, and I don't want to say the wrong thing and make everything harder for you."

Caitlyn looked surprised. "Mitchie, with us there aren't any wrong words." She reached out and held Mitchie's hand. "You say whatever you need to. If I don't want to talk about it, I'll let you know. Okay?"

Mitchie nodded and smiled through her tears. The smile quickly faded, though, and she gripped Caitlyn's hand. "I'm terrified that you're going to die and leave me," Mitchie admitted out loud for the first time. "I don't know how I'll make it if something happens to you, and I feel horrible and selfish for thinking about how it's going to affect me. I'm an awful friend."

Caitlyn closed her eyes and let out a sigh. "Mitch, you're not an awful friend. I don't know anyone else who would drop their entire life to be here with me." Opening her eyes, Caitlyn turned to look at Mitchie with a smirk. "And you'd better be scared because I'm an awesome friend and you'd be lost without me."

Mitchie laughed."It's true," she said to Caitlyn. The two sat in silence for a moment before Mitchie added, "We should probably talk about what happens if…" She couldn't continue.

"If I die," Caitlyn finished for her. Mitchie nodded.

"We will," Caitlyn assured her. "We have to because I'm giving you power of attorney and you're my executrix. But tonight, we should get some sleep." She let go of Mitchie's hand and stood up.

Mitchie looked up at her friend. "I love you, Caity."

"Love you too. Get some sleep."

Mitchie settled back onto the couch, grateful that she didn't have to face this alone because together, she and Caitlyn could face anything.


End file.
